fashion

What we’re all really thinking when we look at photos of these shorts.

No. But there's a new version of the infamous 'clit hammock' bikini bottoms and we're collectively screaming. 

It appears they're some sort of... jundies.

You see, it all started when online clothing store Free People shared their new range of micro shorts. But they seemingly forgot one silly little thing. That female genitalia... exists. Because apparently we're wearing micro shorts this season — and no, your vulvas aren't invited.

In an Instagram post, Free People wrote: "We are wearing micro shorts this season", alongside a gallery of mini jorts that look like they will barely cover your urethra and could potentially get you arrested.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's giving Beginning Boutique bikinis.

Look. I don't know when this trend started, or who decided it was okay to cross jean shorts with undies and troll us by putting chaps on the outside, but they're objectively the absolute worst. And women all over the world are protesting.

Because aside from looking very uncomfy, women are simply confused when it comes to the logistics of how these 'shorts' even cover a vagina. (They don't.)

Of course, the range of micro shorts look amazing on these models, given they have the bodies of... models. But it's worth noting (ladies, if you will) that for most of us, this style of shorts (?) would showcase precisely all of our organs.

So, idk.

Watch: Chaps were originally worn over jeans to protect your legs while riding on horseback in bushy terrain, so obviously they're now worn at festivals. Clare Stephens reviews the trend, and it goes exactly how you'd expect. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.
ADVERTISEMENT

On Instagram, women responded to photos of the shorts with top-tier humour. And look, it's perhaps the greatest comment section on the internet right now. 

Their first observations were as follows. Ahem...

"I try to have my inseam longer than my labia."

"Jean curtains for my meat curtains."

"Is the pocket for my keys in the labia minora or majora, I can't tell."

"I see the flaps you added but where do my flaps go?"

"As a general rule, I prefer my shorts and skirts to be longer than my tampon string."

"We are not wearing JUNDIES this season… we are absolutely not."

Okay, no xx

ADVERTISEMENT

"We just want more pockets to hold chapstick and now you won't even hold our vagina."

"Ladies, we baking bread this summer with all this yeast." 

"I always wanted shorts I could leave on even during my Pap smear."

"What are these… shorts for ants?!"

"Do these even come in XS or just 12-18 Months?"

"A stiff fart in those shorts would cut you right in half. Pass."

"Chaps for your flaps."

"I could not fit one labia in those."

"Oh cool, they made a hat for my bush."

"The free people x @pampersus collab that we didn’t ask for."

We're done.

Free People: the women have spoken, and they politely decline x

For more from Erin Docherty, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Instagram/@freepeople.

Are you someone who values beauty, health, and self-care? Take our short survey to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!