'My partner died in an accident. Then I discovered his secret wealth.'

As told to Ann DeGrey 

I was absolutely drowning in grief in the weeks after my husband’s death. It was the most horrendous and surreal feeling. I didn’t even feel like I was alive anymore. Mike was more than a husband; he was my confidant, my partner in every sense of the word. Or so I believed. 

He was killed in a car accident during a massive storm on the way to pick our daughter up from a music lesson. A car had veered onto the wrong side of the road, killing Mike instantly. 

It all unravelled so quickly. My daughter called, asking why her father was so late in collecting her, then a police officer came to the front door, telling me the awful news. It was an absolute nightmare. But then the aftershocks continued and, these days, I wonder who I was married to. 

The weeks following his death were a blur. I don't know how I got through the funeral. That was also a blur, a nightmare beyond words. There were days I didn't know whether it was morning or night and yet everyone else seemed to move on without me. 

My best friend Georgie came over one day and said it was time we started going through Mike's belongings. We sorted through his clothes, choosing which pieces to donate to charity and which of his special items we should keep — for what? I don't know. His study was crammed with so many books, piles of paper and unopened envelopes. It was a task I dreaded yet knew was inevitable. Georgie was going to help me sort out what money was owed on a variety of things, and then there was a tedious task of having to cancel subscriptions and things, such as his gym membership. 

Watch: A Beginner's Guide To Grief. Post continues after video. 

Going through all his belongings and the paperwork in his study felt intrusive, like it was a violation of the privacy we had always respected in each other. That’s when we stumbled upon it — the secret that would forever change my understanding of our life together.

Georgie was focusing on a folder which had a bunch of gas and electricity bills for a different address. "Do you own property on the Central Coast?" she asked.

"No, of course not. We only own this house," I replied.

But Georgie unearthed more and move evidence that we owned a second house — under Mike's name but not mine. Surely not? We were not wealthy, and Mike always insisted I stay on a strict budget. I was aware that he was on a reasonable salary but we rarely went away on holidays and he once lectured me about spending too much money on my weekly grocery shopping which saw me really cutting back. 

Then Georgie found a second folder and, after going through its contents, announced that it looked like we owned two other properties — only in Mike's name. One looked like a beach house and the other was a substantial home in a country town that had been rented to tenants but was apparently now vacant. The paper trail was here all the time; bills, details about the mortgage on the beach property — which included a swimming pool, something I'd always wanted. There was also evidence that he’d paid for a bathroom renovation on the country property.  

I just sat there with my jaw on the floor while Georgie compiled all of the evidence for me. The fact that Mike owned two properties was a revelation that struck me with the force of a physical blow. My mind raced, questions tumbling over each other in a desperate search for answers. How? Why? I was angry and confused. Was Mike planning to leave me? Was this wealth amassed as a means of escape, a future he wanted without me?

That thought was just like poison, making my grief even worse because it was tainting memories that I'd treasured. 

Yet, as the initial shock subsided, a different reality emerged — the financial strain that had been a constant companion in our marriage was immediately lifted, almost overnight.

A few days later I took all the paperwork and evidence to a lawyer, and she eventually let me know that Mike had bought the beach house five years ago and the country home just two years before he died. The irony wasn't lost on me; in his death my husband had provided me with a security we never knew in life.

It took a while, but I eventually chose to see the secret properties not as the remains of Mike's deception, but as the final gifts from a man who was more complex than I had ever realised. I've since sold the Central Coast property which has given me more wealth than I could have imagined. I’ve been able to stop working and start really enjoying my life again.  

But I've held onto the beautiful federation home in the country town, which I visit from time to time and wonder why he chose this town over others? Did he have a special connection with it, or was he having an affair with a woman who lived nearby? I guess I will never know. 

Feature Image: Canva.