'Don’t just trust everything you're told.' The 7 things I wish somebody told me before IVF.

IVF is often seen as the ultimate backup plan. 

Along with freezing your eggs, this magical acronym is perceived as a way to guarantee you the family you want, as soon as you want it. 

Or, at least that’s the fairytale big budget marketing campaigns and high-profile celebrity success stories are selling. 

What we don’t see are stories like Karen’s. 

Karen’s path to becoming a mum involved three IVF clinics, seven cycles of IVF, several investigative procedures, two laparoscopy surgeries and sadly, three miscarriages.

To make things worse, at every turn she was presented with out-of-date or confusing success rates, medical jargon and unclear information about what her IVF path would actually look like. Then, she was pressed to make a decision based on this information.

“The hardest part of the IVF journey is the unknown," Karen told Mamamia. 

“Watching others start or complete their family, I just wanted to know if I would ever have my own and the information I needed was hard to find. The IVF clinics show you what you want to see, which is usually outdated information, presented differently on each clinic’s website, or it is not accurate to your circumstances."

Karen recommends to anyone thinking of IVF to explore YourIVFSuccess. It's a government-funded website that offers easy to understand information to anyone considering or currently undergoing IVF in Australia. 

It's the only central source of information based on all IVF cycles performed in the country, and offers two great tools – a clinic search tool with clinic success rates for most Australian clinics, and an IVF Estimator which allows you to calculate your personalised chance of IVF success based on your age, prior pregnancy, fertility treatment history, and causes of infertility. The website is updated with new data from all Australian fertility clinics each year. The IVF clinic success rates are then calculated by the University of New South Wales using the same data for each clinic.

And the best bit? It’s jargon free. “It’s understandable without having a medical degree,” according to Karen. 

Karen finally has her beautiful family now, but she wants to make sure the next generation of women dealing with infertility avoid some of the unnecessary stress she went through. Here are the six other things she tells anyone considering IVF.

1. First round fails happen… and second… and third…

“Walking into my first round of IVF I was so naive. I honestly felt like we would at least get a few embryos. We got none.” Karen says be ready for the possibility of failure. 

It can be tough to accept, but the truth is that your first round of IVF may not be successful. It can take many cycles before you take home a baby, educating yourself about success rates and using tools like the YourIVFSuccess Estimator can help manage your expectations both before starting IVF and when trying to decide whether to have another cycle.

As with any treatment, you still need to consult with your doctor to discuss your own chances of treatment success and what treatment is right for you. Women are not statistics, and therefore success rates on the website may not reflect or determine your actual rates of success during IVF treatment.

Image: Supplied.

2. Your life will revolve around fertility treatment.

Prepare yourself for a hectic schedule. Your calendar will be filled with appointments, medication schedules, and treatments. You will need to keep your treatment schedule front of mind when making social or work plans. 

You may need to take medications and injections to events, so invest in a cute bag. Karen travelled overseas with medication, having to sneak out to the car during events to inject herself. 

Remember to take things one month at a time and consider keeping a separate calendar so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.

3. You are your best IVF advocate.

“No one wants you to achieve your dream more than you," says Karen. “You need to do your own research. Trust your gut, ask lots of questions and join support groups. Check out the YourIVFSuccess website to search for IVF clinics near you and their success rates, as well as get your own estimate of success. They also have links to lots of different resources, including fertility counsellors and peer support. Read read read.”

Image: Supplied.

4. Don't focus on the injections.

“The injections are really not that bad … in the scheme of things.” Although IVF injections may seem daunting, they are nothing compared to the emotional and mental challenges that come with infertility.

Keep in mind that these injections are a small price to pay for the chance to fulfil your dream of becoming a parent.

5. Think outside the box.

IVF is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Be prepared to explore different procedures and protocols with your fertility specialist, especially if the standard treatments are not working for you. Remember, there are always alternative options to consider.

6. Talk about plan Z, early.

“After four failed rounds we had to evaluate our options and consider if children of our own may not be a reality. I recommend couples have the conversation about ‘what happens after IVF’ early on.”

After several failed attempts at IVF, it may be necessary to consider other options. This can be a difficult decision to make, try to keep an open mind and explore all available alternatives to fulfil your dream of starting a family.

Have you had an experience with IVF or assisted fertility? What do you wish you knew before you started your journey? Tell us in the comments below.

YourIVFSuccess is an Australian Government-funded website that provides the latest information to patients considering undergoing IVF treatment.

Feature Image: Supplied.