Eva Mendes just said what all stay-at-home mums are thinking.

Ryan Gosling won the 2024 Oscars.

No, not literally — he lost out on Best Supporting Actor to Robert Downey Jr — but that didn't matter because he was a victor in another way: he stole the show.

As the 96th Academy Awards lumbered towards the end of the broadcast, the lights dimmed and a pink-suited Gosling took the stage to perform 'I'm Just Ken' from the Barbie soundtrack.

It was a festival of goofiness and unbridled passion; it was Gosling's moment and everyone lapped it up.

Ryan Gosling and the cast of "Barbie" perform "I'm Just Ken" at the #Oscars. https://t.co/UNgGySGz3r pic.twitter.com/00hd0Jw8cy

— Variety (@Variety) March 11, 2024

As the 43-year-old was basking in his glory, his partner of 13 years, Eva Mendes, posted a photo on Instagram.

She was wearing Gosling's pink suit jacket and wrote a caption that perfectly captures what it means to be a stay-at-home mum.

"You took Ken all the way to the Oscars, RG. Now come home, we need to put the kids to bed," she said.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Eva Mendes (@evamendes)

Her words really resonated with me and what it means to be a stay-at-home mum. Everyone's situation is different but my interpretation of that well-used moniker means that I work casually, while my husband works full-time. It's an agreement that we both decided upon and realised through trial and error, is what works best for us.

But landing in this place hasn't come without its sacrifices and moments where I long for the career I used to have. Once upon a time, my work was the centre of my universe. I lived to work and I was so proud of everything I achieved. 

After reaching a career-high of being the host of MTV Australia, I knew that I wanted to keep going until I was on all of the major red carpets and maybe even hosting my own talk show one day. I wanted it all and I was hungry for it. But then life happened — I had a beautiful baby girl and my priorities shifted all in a magical instant. 

After a very tricky postpartum phase, I came out the other side ready to navigate putting my career back in the spotlight whilst also being a mum. As I began taking hosting jobs again and spending more and more time away from my daughter, I quickly realised that, for me at this moment in time, I knew that my career couldn't be the focus.

 After being offered a dream role that would be a full-time position, I had to make the huge decision to turn it down. It was really hard but I knew that at least for the time being I needed to be there for my daughter - she needed me and I didn't want to miss out on all of the moments. For now, my career would be placed on hold.

I know that everyone's situation is different and what works for your family might not work for others. But for Eva Mendes, she walked away from a Hollywood career to focus on being a mother to her and Gosling's two daughters, Esmerelda, 9 and Amada, 7.

In 2022 she told Variety that she felt an urge to step away from acting to be with her children. 

"I thought, ‘Oh, this is what I’m supposed to do right now,'" she said. "I’m keeping it in the home with my kids."

She also doubled down on this sentiment on Instagram in 2022 to further explain her new normal. 

"I never quit acting," she wrote. "I wanted to be home with my babies and fortunately my other business ventures allowed me to do that more than acting would."

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A post shared by Eva Mendes (@evamendes)

What also struck me with Eva's Oscars post, was the floods of comments underneath condemning her for not being there in person to 'support' her partner.

"Why didn’t you go with him," wrote one user.

"Big night for Ryan! You should have been there in support, by his side!! What a beautiful memory you could have shared together," wrote another.

It's another layer of guilt-loading that doesn't sit right with me. The 50-year-old was noticeably absent by his side on the big night, instead, he took along his sister, Mandi as his date. 

A source told PEOPLE the reason behind why she opted to stay at home for the big night was apparently to look after their children.

"For them, the most important job is their girls. Everything else comes second," said the source. "Of course Eva is proud and excited for Ryan. She still sees it as a job though."

For the notoriously private couple keeping their relationship out of the spotlight (and off the red carpet) is the best way for them to protect their family. They made this decision early on in her pregnancy and they have stayed true to it ever since.

“Whether we like it or not, privacy is going to be very difficult for Esmeralda. I think it's unfair but that's our reality. So Ryan and I decided early on to give her as much privacy as we could. And my pregnancy was the first opportunity to give her that," she said in an interview with Violet Grey in 2014.

"It's such an intimate time for the mother, too. I know that it seems all very innocuous when you're flipping through a tabloid at the doctor's office or see a photo of a pregnant lady online, but I find the media's 'bump watch' obsession to be both intrusive and stressful. So I made a decision to eject myself from it completely. I was like, 'Annnnd I'm out'," she said.

I applaud them for sticking to what is best for their family despite what must feel like a constant stream of commentary from the public prodding and poking them to stand in front of the bright lights to show off their relationship. Whilst many of us will never really understand what it means to try and raise a family under the glare of the Hollywood eye, I respect what they've done to try and retain some level of normalcy. 

Her post on Instagram is something that I feel deeply. I love seeing my husband go out and kill it at work, I truly do. But while he goes out and gets accolades for doing a good job, sometimes it can feel like a thankless job being the main carer at home to our child. Just once, I'd love the whole internet to applaud me for wrangling our almost two-year-old through dinner, bath and bed on my own. Now, that is Oscar-worthy. 

Ryan did an amazing job performing at the Oscars, but Eva did something equally as impressive that day too: she looked after their children so he could shine. 

Let's hear it for all the parents, the ones that are out in the world doing a great job AND the ones who are at home, a little less visible, but just as important.

Feature Image: Instagram/@evamendes

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