A supermarket employee, Kylie Jenner and a pregnancy theory too unhinged to be true.

Kylie Jenner is pregnant with Timothée Chalamet's Wonka baby. Or at least, this is what some rogue supermarket employee has claimed.

But wait... how did we get here? 

This story is too unhinged to be true — and that's because it probably isn't. 

Let's start from the very beginning. A man was born on May 29, 1975. This man was writer and comedian Daniel Tosh.

Okay, maybe not that far back. I'll backtrack to the start of the week. Daniel Tosh hosts a podcast, as is obligatory for any relatively famous man in their 40s, and this podcast is ingeniously titled Tosh Show. Flawless. 

On this week's Tosh Show, the Tosh in question (Daniel Tosh, keep up) made a bold claim. 

A claim that he had found out from some random man in a supermarket that Kylie Jenner and her boyfriend of almost a year, Timothée Chalamet, were expecting their first child. 

"Here’s something crazy," Tosh began, as all legitimate reports should start.

"I went to the grocery store in Malibu, and I was talking to an employee there. I try to avoid it but I was talking to this guy, and I said, ‘Why were you guys closed yesterday?’ He goes, ‘Well, I’m not supposed to discuss it, but Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the show, was filming their season finale here yesterday,’" Tosh claimed. 

I will quickly butt in here to say that the current iteration of the show is titled The Kardashians — a show apparently just filmed inside the premises — so I'm already concerned about this man's credibility. 

Watch the story here. Post continues after video.

But Tosh continues. 

"Spoiler alert, this is for the upcoming season of the show. This is the big season finale. This random grocery store person is telling me that they rented out the entire store, shut it down and then, they acted like they were grocery shopping. This was the scene that apparently happened: Kylie reveals that she’s pregnant again with Timothée’s kid. What a bombshell." 

This sounds... insane. 

And I have questions.

Why did the family film their BIG SEASON FINALE inside a supermarket? 

Why did they tell this random supermarket employee a secret that would literally send the tabloids ablaze? 

If they did tell this random supermarket employee, did he not sign an NDA to ensure he would not spread this secret around to anyone, including customers with podcasts?

WHY DID THEY SHARE THE BABY NEWS INSIDE A SUPERMARKET?

This family owns approx 10 mansions between them — including a house for Kylie's seven dogs — so surely one of them was a more appropriate pregnancy announcement venue?? 

'We can keep a secret better hehe.' Image: Instagram/@kyliejenner. 

My mind straight away goes to Kris Jenner buying Kylie a pregnancy test before the makeup empress whips into the public loo, before returning to show the entire family (still just standing in the supermarket, perhaps cradling a ripened avocado) that she had a positive test.

Maybe then Timmy pops up from the inside of a chocolate box and they sing a little song.

'Who can take a supermarket? Sprinkle it with good news! Cover it in chocolate and make a miracle for two? The Kardashians. The Kardashians can.' 

THE MIND WANDERS.  

Luckily for me and my mental stability, my mind needs to wander no more. A source has already told Us Weekly that these claims are... abso-f**king-lutely not true (I paraphrased but that's the gist).  

If true, this little spawn of Chalamet would have been Kylie's third child, following the birth of daughter Stormi in February 2018 and son Aire in February 2022 with her on-and-off boyfriend, Travis Scott.

A source from The Kardashians production team has said that not only did the show not film their finale in the grocery store, they didn't film any scenes there. 

I mean... this is very funny. 

Tosh finished his gossip sesh by adding, "This might not be true. I am not verifying anything," he clarified. 

"This is what an employee at a grocery store in Malibu told me."

This supermarket employee simply chose chaos on this day and has probably had the time of his life watching as silly journalists (like silly me) had to try to sort through the carnage. I love this man. Never change. 

Feature image: Instagram/Getty. 

Tara Watson is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Producer. For more from her, you can follow her on Instagram.