@mamamia-user-482898552 I thought that was a strange thing to say too, unless she's now eating her exes share lol. 

I wish you had have used this topic to highlight one of the hurdles of leaving a DV relationship. Its not about holidays or bills for many women but the actual cost of leaving when there aren't any DV shelters available or family to support you while you get yourself sorted which can take months. One of your examples at least could have focused on this. 

My daughter is continuing the abuse of my ex by following along with whatever narrative he has of me. I have apologised to her for mistakes I have made and I completely respect her boundaries but I refuse to feel sorry for myself even though mothers day was hard. I've spent too many years being a victim of dv im not going to let it continue through my children. It is funny that people like you will see me as the bad parent and my ex is OK because she thinks he's great. He treated her terribly as a child and teenager but I was always her constant, I'm far from controlling or abusive. 

I get the impression the account is used for household expenses and shared social things like meals and going out, which makes perfect sense and is much easier than asking each other for money all the time or trusting that the bills are getting paid if ones a little tardy. She has just left that out to make it sound more exciting lol. 

@vesm03 I am estranged from my own father and made the choice to cut him out over 10 years ago. Everyone I know that has cut a toxic parent out doesn't go out of their way to get attention from that parent. The poster is continually trying to make her bio parent feel rejected and then crying poor me at the response. Who needs to be adopted at 40? You can't tell me that wasn't done out of spite. All of the things listed are not that bad and very one sided. I've personally been through worse not that its a competition, but this all just seems like its attention seeking. 

It is like a light bulb moment when you get to the 'other side' of toxic behaviour, to be able to see it with clarity instead of being powerless to it and letting it control our lives. 

I have known someone who had to take their teenager to the PO for a TFN, then sent an invoice to the other parent for use of their time.  They were taking out their frustration on the other parent but all they did was make that child feel like a massive inconvenience and to not ask that parent for help again. 

Could it be possible you were alienated from your father as a child and your relationship had been affected? I don't see anything really major that he's done but there's a lot of angst from you over small things like a messy car, which is a massive sign of PA. The other things from you as an adult like testing him for lack of communication, that could be him respecting your boundaries. You have stated that you would purposely do things to "test" him and have been quite negative towards him, even still blaming him for anxiety and depression. It sounds as though he gave you the space that you made obvious that you wanted. Then it also sounds like you have been punishing him for giving you that space like getting your stepdad to adopt you at 40. That should mean the relationship with him has ended but you are trying to punish him again by writing this which i guess may make its way to him somehow.